Bright Habit is the site for bright introverts who want deep, lasting relationships.
Is this your story too?
- You are very successful in whatever you put your mind to, except relationships and people skills.
- You imagine yourself talking with someone attractive but rarely have the courage to do it.
- You have read about read and learned about social skills but can't seem to apply it to people.
You have worked hard (or whizzed through college just like high school) and now have a successful career. But without a few best friends and a love life, it feels empty.
You go home after work, maybe work out or practice a hobby, then settle in to the routine of dinner and a night with electronic friends. You watch an episode, or three, on Netflix, scroll through Facebook and find a few interesting reads, and pick up the controller to enjoy some video games.
It's Friday night and the nightly habits have grown dull. You long for someone to hang out with. You do talk to some people and have a few friends, but they seem shallow and might not include you in everything.
If you do go somewhere to try to connect with people, but you end up standing awkwardly, struggling through a few boring conversations until you can leave.
That was me too. The years it took me to overcome my shyness, awkwardness, quietness, and nervousness taught me many things. Now I know what I wished I knew then. It didn't have to take that long to have deep friendships and flirt naturally to meet my future wife! I could have changed in less than a month or two.
Here are the bright parts:
- I didn't have to change my personality. I could be myself but still interact in the ways I was only dreaming before.
- I could learn social skill just like learning an instrument, a sport, or new technology.
- Once I got rid of the bad habits that destroyed my confidence, I was able to replace them with productive habits.
- I could be honest about who I was so I didn't attract the wrong people.
- I surprised myself with how naturally I flirted and kept conversations going.
Most advice for introverts focuses on a few general ideas that might work for some people. They will tell you to just do it, just stop being insecure, just find some friends, just go to these places, just improve your body language, just be confident, just don't care what others think, just smile, or just be extroverted.
When I looked at that advice, I tried, but couldn't just do anything. I needed total transformation.
When my mind went blank in conversations, I couldn't just talk.
When anxiety overwhelmed me at the thought of approaching someone attractive, I couldn't just introduce myself.
When I stood awkwardly silent among a group of people having fun, I couldn't just keep going to large hang outs or parties.
Here's the truth:
Your social inability is just a bad habit.
Bad habits are hard to change. Have you ever tried to stop a habit like cracking knuckles or saying 'umm' or smoking?
Social habits are even harder to change. We practice them every day without even thinking. They have developed over years and are ingrained in us so deeply that we view them as our personality.
Once I realized this, I knew that I could change.
Changing a habit takes careful planning and diligent action.
Luckily for us, we are great at analytical plans! The hard part is the action taking.
But if you want change, you must do something that you have not been doing. Break the routine. Break the habit.
I have a free guide that can lead you through some plans that can change your conversation habits as early as today.
If you apply these tactics, you will see results.